Design your own headstone

Can I design my own headstone?

Yes. Many families design their own: you decide the shape, the names, the dates, the words and any artwork, and a monument company turns that into a proof and cuts the stone. You do not need to be able to draw. You can sketch it on paper, point to a stone you like, or letter one on a photograph of a real stone with a free tool like Headstone Designer, which shows how the lines will fit before you commit.

The monument company still checks every letter with you, and nothing is cut until you sign the proof.

Choosing the shape

Start with the shape, because it decides how much room there is and whether the cemetery will accept it.

An upright is a tablet of granite standing on a base, the stone most people picture. It holds one person, or two in one centred column, and the names are easy to read from the path. Tops are cut flat, serpentine, oval or arched.

A companion upright or a double heart is made for two, most often a husband and wife. The family name runs across the top and each person has their own column beneath it.

A heart is often chosen for a mother, a wife or a child. The lettering follows the shape: the family name across the widest part, a short line of words near the point.

Lawn markers sit low. A flat marker lies level with the grass, which some cemetery sections require. A bevel is a low block with a sloped top, and a slant tilts its face up toward the reader.

Pet stones are small, flat or upright, for a garden, a yard or a pet cemetery. A memorial bench is a place to sit with the family name cut into it, where the cemetery allows one.

Every shape, with what it is and who tends to choose it, is on the headstone designs page.

Choosing the granite colour

Grey, black and red are the three colours most families look at, and each takes the lettering differently.

Grey granite is the most common. The letters are cut into the polished face and read darker than the stone, and grey comes in shades from nearly white to charcoal.

Black granite takes the letters pale: each one is cut through the polish and frosted, so names and artwork read light grey on a face close to a mirror. It holds fine artwork well. On a bright day it reflects the sky and the trees, which some families love and others find harder to read at an angle.

Red granite, such as India red or mahogany, also takes the letters pale, so the names stand out against the warm polished face.

Colours vary from quarry to quarry, and a screen is only a guide, so ask to see a sample or a finished stone in daylight. Some cemetery sections ask for one colour so the markers match.

What should I write on a headstone?

Most headstones carry the same core: the family name, each person’s first and middle names, and their dates. After that comes a line of words and perhaps a symbol.

Names. Write them exactly as they should be carved. Many families add a middle name, a maiden name or a nickname in quotes, like Robert “Bob.” Check the spelling against a birth certificate or an obituary.

Dates. They can be written in full (March 14, 1941), shortened (Mar 14, 1941), in numbers (3-14-1941), or as the years alone. Full dates take the most room. On a companion stone for a husband or wife who is living, the birth date is cut now and the second date is added later.

Words. Keep the line short. A short line keeps its letters large; a long one gets smaller, or has to split over two lines. A favourite verse is often shortened to its reference.

Symbols. A symbol can say what words cannot: a cross or praying hands for faith, a dove for peace, a rose or a lily, an anchor, or a paw print on a pet stone. One symbol, placed with room around it, usually reads better than several.

What four words should a headstone say?

There is no rule, and many headstones carry no words beyond the names and dates. Four-word lines families often choose include Forever in our hearts, Gone but not forgotten, Always loved, never forgotten, and Until we meet again. Shorter lines work just as well: Beloved mother, At peace, or Together forever on a stone for two.

What should you not put on a gravestone?

• Anything not checked letter by letter. A misspelled name or a wrong date is cut into stone and is hard to fix.
• Lines too long for the stone. They force small letters that are hard to read from the path.
• Wording or pictures the cemetery does not allow. Some cemeteries review inscriptions, so ask first.
• Details you would not want public. A headstone is read by anyone who walks past.

Can you legally make your own headstone?

Designing your own is always yours to do. Making and setting one yourself depends on where it will stand. Most cemeteries have written rules on size, material and the foundation, and many allow only their own crew or an approved monument company to set a stone. A private family plot, or a pet’s grave at home, leaves you more freedom. Check the cemetery’s rules first; state and local rules can apply too.

Sending your design to a monument company

When the design is ready, copy its link and send it by email or text. The link opens the stone exactly as you lettered it, from the front and both sides, with the inscription written out and a proof sheet they can print. The monument company replies with a price and their own proof, and nothing is cut until they confirm every letter with you.

The price depends on the size and granite of the stone, the base, how much lettering and artwork it carries, and the cemetery’s foundation and setting fees. That is why a link helps: the company can price exactly what you designed. If you do not have a monument company yet, you can send the design to us with your zip code, and we pass it to one that serves your area.